It's been raining so far today. The day she arrived it was raining too, but one day after it had been no rain (well probably except 1-2days, but i think it's a miracle as we are right in a rainy season) during these 2weeks. This is like she brought a sun to us and took it away. I said, us but for me it is no doubt she was a sun, hope for everything in life, a beautiful person, ultimate possibility. I was living in consequence of peaceful moments which i had been dying for, the feeling of being truly secured that I couldn't have for such a long time, more than 3years. After saying good bye at the station, I came back to home and sleep for 30mins then now at office.
My mind/head is not very clear I feel even empty mostly because of lack of sleep. Since my co-worker says today I'm going to have a huge amount of papers to deal with, I guess I'd better to switch my mode to the worker from a person cried at the station in early morning. After work, I may go right straight to my bed then fall a sleep in a second, without a energy to feel actually she is not there anymore. And probably wake up in the middle of night, then will realize her absence in my room and turn the music on which she left (or forgot) or the one she gave me.
Here is the promise:
I will try not to bite my nails
I will try to smile
I will try to master "the force", like she said, if it is true that i could conquer the world, it must be fun I guess
Hope anything won't be too rough for everybody.
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7:00PM
back to home, I was a little bit expecting that she may be at home and tells me that she missed the flight. But of course, that wasn't happened. Her big luggage is gone, now I am not so sure if that was a dream but found her stuffes at bathroom and comfirmed she was here. I want to cry but trying not to. I can't cry without her, I can't cry without somebody can share this pain.
